Crackwhore Confessions

I hate but I love this day. . . I don't want to rain, but I really want to rain. . . I yearn to hear the brawny wind strolling down the trees, but I am really craving for that summer days.

I heard them say that I am lucky with everything that I have in life. . . I don't ask for more, but I want to glimpse with that something hidden in the midst of nowhere. Will it be the happiness? or more or less cruficial loneliness?

I want to find time for my girlfriend. People think that we were through with our relationship because they don't see us. My friends and her friends are asking if we are still together. My girlfriend told me that I am too busy and have no time for her. I know that she's getting upset and soon she'll break our connection. I don't want that to happen so I need to figure it out.

I am often judged with my identity and definitely, they say that I am well-off. I found it annoying since everytime that we have classroom activities involving money in our school, the words "mayaman ka naman eh! kaya mo ng bayaran yan" keep on murmuring on their mouths. Oh! they said it many times! Let's say that my parents are earning but we don't have excess money to purchase that 1,000,000 pesos worth of things. I am merely not a billionaire.

I am often situated with happiness and loneliness. If I opted for this, why can't I change it? Can it be happiness alone? Upon hearing the coil or something, more and more this sadness keeps on murdering my totality. Maybe It is just psychological thinking instead of using my hidden crucial thinking. Damn it!

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There are 3 thoughts to eliminate from our thinking:

I got this from a book and this really helped me out. :-)

1. "No one cares about you" This temptation towards self-pity is a lie. People do care, and most importantly, God cares.
2. "You won't succeed." A little advice, don't listen with their negative thougths about you. Best thing to do is to keep that as a challenge in your life. In addition to that, think of these little words, ate gwen said, "It is better to be judged than you are the one judging."
3. "Just give up." Learn to sacrifice, Persevere and finish the race!

originally posted in blogs.friendster.com

2006.09.27