10 mins before October 31

11:50p.m.

Okay... Obviously, I have not posted anything here in my multiply for ages. This post is so wala lang. I just remembered my forgotten multiply account. Oh well, I just want to say that my birthday is coming. And ohhh... Another year is added to make me old and reasonable enough. I still have five minutes to say anything that I want to say before October 31 enters.

Here I go....

Weng-weng.

Epal.

Zombie.

Screwdriver

HAHAHA!

.... I wasted a minute for that. HAHA!

Here's the real one..

I so want to thank the people who CHOSE to step into my life and didn't try to leave. For one reason, that so speakingly little way made me feel so important. I really appreciated the people who made it! ( Ohh. I have 3 minutes left ) I want to thank my friends, especially my AY02 friends, who made me feel cool and separated from self-killing loneliness.

Lastly, I wanna thank my family for being there. And I wanna thank You God for giving me another year. =D Thanks for the unending blessings as well. =D

IT'S ALREADY 12AM! Happy Birthday to ME! Happy Birthday to ME! Goooood night!

Nice William!

My Grades

Course Section Grade Completion CS12 AY02 2.00 CS12L AY02 1.50 ENG10 AY02 2.00 FIL10 AY02 2.00 MATH10-1 AY02 2.00 NSTP11 AY02 1.50 PE11 BC2 1.75 Weighted Average: 1.96 Copied from http://my.mapua.edu.ph. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Should I be contented or what? I need to WORK HARDER! So as for me to get the grade of 1.4 and above! Dream big.

Alienated

I KNOW I AM NOT THE REAL ME.

I'm not supposed to do such things.

I'm totally changed and still frustrated.

JUST TAKE ME OUT OF THE DARK.

'cause I can't be on it FOREVER.

Kalokohan at Kakornihan

CRUZANA JR, WILLIAM O. FIL10 / AY02 SETYEMBRE 1, 2007

TAKDANG-ARALIN BLG. 2 PROF. FAJARDO

NOTE: Kalokohan lang to, pero assignment.

PARABULA – “Ang Pagkakamali”

S- SETTING – Sa kalagitnaan ng isang gubat, may nuno sa punso na nakatayo. Sa nuno sa punso na iyon, may mansyon ng isang pamilyang langgam.

P- PARTICIPANTS – Ang nakatira sa mansyon sa loob ng nuno sa punso na iyon ay sina Gustang at Biling na langgam kasama ang 2 anak ni Biling. Si Gustang, na sing laki ng bangaw at kilala sa pagiging matapang, ay ang tumatayong ama sa naiwang pamilya ni Melong, ang dating asawa ni Biling.

E- ENDS – Nagsimula ang kaguluhan sa pamilya nang pumasok sa pinto si Gustang na lasing dahil kakagaling lang sa kaarawan ng kaibigan. Nakita niya doon ang dating asawa ng kinakasama na si Melong. Ayaw man niyang sabihin ay gusto niyang ipaalam ito kay Biling.

A- ACT OF SEQUENCE - “Biling, wag ka magugulat. Buhay pa si Melong.” Sinabing mahinahon ni Gustang. Sumagot si Biling habang naglalagay ng Pond’s Moisturizer sa mukha, “Sira-ulo! Wag mo kong lolokohin.” “Hindi kita linoloko. Babarilin ko na sana e!” Sambit ni Melong habang tinatanggal ang kanyang leather na jacket. Umiyak ng umiyak si Biling at pinagpabukas na lang ang usapan.

K- KEYS – Kinabukasan, nagplanong puntahan ni Biling si Melong na napabalita niyang nakatira sa condominium sa itaas ng puno. Kinausap muna niya ang kanyang mga anak… “Papaano kung buhay pa ang inyong ama?” Sabi ni Biling sa kanyang mga anak habang nagae-aerobics. “Mommy, ayos lang po kung buhay pa si daddy. Wala kasi pong kwenta yang si Gustang mo. Laging lang po hinihingi lang ang pera mo.” Sumabat agad panganay na anak na kumukuha ng BS Computer Science sa kolehiyo. “Mommy, ayoko na po siya mabuhay. Di na naman ako makakapagyosi at makakainom.” Dahil sa walang kakwenta-kwentang sagot ng lalaking anak, pinagsasampal ni Biling ang lalaking anak gamit ang maraming kamay nito.

I- INSTRUMENTALITIES – Nag-text si Melong kay Biling para sabihing lasenggero si Gustang. “Buhay nga ang loko!” Sigaw ni Biling. Tinawagan ni Biling si Melong dahil hindi na siya makapagpigil. “Hello! Kailangan natin magkita! Choppy ka… Ayusin mo.” Binabaan ni Melong si Biling ng cellphone. Tinawagan ulit ni Biling si Melong.

N- NORMS – Nag-usap sila tungkol sa kanilang dalawa. “Patay ka na dba?! Ba’t buhay ka?” Sabi ni Biling na kumakain ng chocolate. Sumagot ang kausap, “Sino ka? I don’t know you, girl!” “Melong! Si Biling to! Ang asawa mo. Sabi mo ay patay ka na? “Hello girl! Si Gela to. Dating si Gelo. Melong ka diyan! Patay na yun diba?! Eklaboo eklaboo chenes chenes ka diyan!”

G- GENRE – Nanggagalaiti si Biling. Napagkamalan lang pala ni Gustang na si Melong si Gela. Pumasok si Gustang at nagaway sila. “Hindi si Melong yon hunghang!” galit na sinabi ni Biling. “Eh magkamukha sila eh!” Paliwanag ni Gustang. “Gustang! Mag-isip ka! Mga langgam tayo. Magkakamukha tayong lahat! Kahit ikaw kamukha kita!”

Nasampal ni Biling si Gustang dahil sa inis. Nagalit si Gustang at pinutol ang isang kamay ni Biling. Sa galit ng dalawa, naghabulan sila sa gitna ng gubat. Sapakan doon… Sapakan dito… Dahil sa kanilang pagaaway, di nila namalayan na naapakan na pala sila ng taga-lupa. Namatay silang dalawa.

Got Lost in the Middle of Nowhere

Grabbed from Angelie.

Last person who broke your heart:
Everyone knows it. That fucks a lot!

Last song syndrome:
Your Guardian Angel by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. There's something nice in the song.

Last movie seen:
Hairspray. I watched it alone.

Are you in love:
Yeah. Perhaps. I don't know.

Is there a place you want to go in the future:
I want to be in a place where I can escape from the real life.

Will you ever/get married:
I am not sure. I don't know if someone loves me. If none, let it be.

Regrets:
I have regrets everyday. In short, I already have a lot.

What do you feel at the moment:
I feel problematic and tired. I'm so damn tired.

How long have you known your love?
I don't know. Last year? at that GREEN stuff in the net.

Last person you emailed:
None. Mail is somewhat insignificant.

Song you are listening to right now:
Missing by Evanescence. It gives some gothic flavor. I can relate from this song so much.

Plans for tomorrow:
Attend Math10-1, FIL10, Eng10 and PE1. Rock-climbing in Rockwell. I want to fall from the top. I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO FALL!

Plans for next saturday:
Gimick? Not sure. I REALLY want to.

Plans in the future:
Do everything I want before I die.

Do you think you've met the one you'll spend your life with:
Perhaps. I have NO IDEA.

Last thing you ate:
Mom's special sinigang. Well, it was delicious.

Last date with who:
Hayy, I dated with gateway, I love you gateway.

Last time you were at the beach:
Last week. Mom's company anniversary. Maya-Maya Yatch Club, Nasugbu, Batangas.

Any word stuck in your mind...LWS, last words syndrome:
Why do people smoke?

Last time you were at a rooftop:
Before I answered this survey.

Last time you were on a bridge:
When I waited in the dark.

Last time you were in an awkward situation:
THIS DAY SUCKS.

Last time you felt too much love you cried:
I love and hurt.

Last time you argued/fought with someone and with whom?
.........

Last time you prayed:
I pray everyday. I want to get rid of my problems.

Are you okay:
NO. Comfort me.

Journal in Math 10-1

CN 103 MATH 10-1 AYO2 JOURNAL NO. 2

CRUZANA JR, WILLIAM O. August 25, 2007

Signature Date

How Have You Gone in Math10-1?

Honestly speaking, there were times that I always questioned how Math could possibly studied if it would not be necessary in the near future. It was like I did become a very baffled person because the thought about how I could use, for example, the “square root of 99 times x over 100” in our future jobs. My awful point was Mathematics should not be added to the main subjects. Eventually, when I entered the steep world of College, I realized that I did have a wrong perception. Math is a fastidious but pleasurable subject and it should be taken really serious.

I started my college life without any idea of what could be the possible lessons in the Math10-1. Unluckily, I did not have anything in stock. Thinking of my past performances, I would say that I highly passed my Mathematics-related subjects in high school before. It was just that I had gotten memory lapses and had forgotten how to do this and that last summer. Awful to say, I was not too serious when I took my math subjects in my last school year in high school. The next will not be meant for boasting, despite the laziness, I still got the grade of 86 and 85 for Calculus and Statistics to think that I didn’t participate well in class and my only strength was just my self-study if the exams or quizzes were near.

I feel different about this Math 10-1. For me, AY02 is really happy to have very entertaining but full of knowledge classes everyday. I am one of those individuals in AY02 who find it really nice! Anyone would have fun while learning when hearing “Uiiii, Ahmm, Cancel oh!” Because of this delight, I would assume that I’ve been doing just well since the start of the class. Things have improved little by little. Two of these improvements that I am talking about are in academics like I’ve fully understood the factoring, which I really hated before, and I entirely overcame the fear of applications on rational exponents.

Now, I’m optimistic and looking forward to relearn the next lessons. However, it does not end there for me. I want that “just well” to be excellently great. With the help of our dearest block and greatly trained teacher, my wits can get constantly better. Confusion will never visit me again, if ever. And all I have to do is to feel confident in the finals for I know indisputably that the hardest problem that Math could give me would just be solved easily.

Journal in MATH10-1 AY02

CN 103 MATH 10-1 AYO2 JOURNAL NO. 2

CRUZANA JR, WILLIAM O. August 25, 2007

How Have You Gone in Math10-1?

Honestly speaking, there were times that I always questioned how Math could possibly studied if it would not be necessary in the near future. It was like I did become a very baffled person because the thought about how I could use, for example, the “square root of 99 times x over 100” in our future jobs. My awful point was Mathematics should not be added to the main subjects. Eventually, when I entered the steep world of College, I realized that I did have a wrong perception. Math is a fastidious but pleasurable subject and it should be taken really serious.

I started my college life without any idea of what could be the possible lessons in the Math10-1. Unluckily, I did not have anything in stock. Thinking of my past performances, I would say that I highly passed my Mathematics-related subjects in high school before. It was just that I had gotten memory lapses and had forgotten how to do this and that last summer. Awful to say, I was not too serious when I took my math subjects in my last school year in high school. The next will not be meant for boasting, despite the laziness, I still got the grade of 86 and 85 for Calculus and Statistics to think that I didn’t participate well in class and my only strength was just my self-study if the exams or quizzes were near.

I feel different about this Math 10-1. For me, AY02 is really happy to have very entertaining but full of knowledge classes everyday. I am one of those individuals in AY02 who find it really nice! Anyone would have fun while learning when hearing “Uiiii, Ahmm, Cancel oh!” Because of this delight, I would assume that I’ve been doing just well since the start of the class. Things have improved little by little. Two of these improvements that I am talking about are in academics like I’ve fully understood the factoring, which I really hated before, and I entirely overcame the fear of applications on rational exponents.

Now, I’m optimistic and looking forward to relearn the next lessons. However, it does not end there for me. I want that “just well” to be excellently great. With the help of our dearest block and greatly trained teacher, my wits can get constantly better. Confusion will never visit me again, if ever. And all I have to do is to feel confident in the finals for I know indisputably that the hardest problem that Math could give me would just be solved easily.

Zecky-OLOGY

Got this CRAP from MINA. Hehehe

Let others know a little more about yourself, repost "(your name)OLOGY"

Q: What is your salad dressing of choice?
- I don't eat WEIRD veggies.

Q: What is your favorite fast food restaurant?
* KFC! I love their CHICKEN.

Q: What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
* Barrio Fiesta

Q: On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant?
* 20 php.

Q: What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of it?
* I guess CHICKEN with SPAGHETTI.

Q: What are your pizza toppings of choice?
* Ham and Cheese! Simple but delicious.

Q: What do you like to put on your toast?
* Cheese Spread

TECHNOLOGY

Q: What is your wallpaper on your
computer?
* Picture of me and my mapuan friends in Bonifacio High Street.

Q: How many televisions are in your house?
* We only got one. Believe it or not. :-)

BIOLOGY

Q: Are you right-handed or left-handed?
* Right-handed

Q: Have you ever had anything removed
from your body?
* Pimples and Chalazion. Did I get the question right?

Q: What is the last heavy item you lifted?
* Mina's bag. SOO HEAVY. Lol!

Q: Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
* When I was in Dencios, Jupiter St.

BULLCRAPOLOGY

Q: If it was possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
* I wouldn't want. SUSPENSE PARE! I WANT SUSPENSE BABEH! Hehehe.

Q: If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
* William Chong-Go, i lurve this! para pansinin diba? haha. Honestly, no. I love my name.

Q: What color do you think looks best on you?
* I guess GRAY. :-)

Q: Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake?
* Not yet. NOT YET! Try natin. :-) HAHA!

Q: Have you ever saved someone’s life?
* In quizzes, long-exams, lololol. wala pa naman.

Q: Has someone ever saved yours?
* Yup. I almost drowned. Thanks to my Aunt Elvie. :-)

DAREOLOGY

Q: Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?
* Okay lang. MAKE THE OFFER HIGHER! :-) Hehehe.

Q: Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000
* No! I love my FINGERS.

Q: Would you never blog again for $50,000?
* Of course! I can still pursue writing without the net.

Q: Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000?
* Okay lang. HAHAHA! Porn! Yaiks!

Q: Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
* NOOOO COMMENT. I hate hot sauce! :-

Q: Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human's life for $1,000,000?
* No, I'd rather set a person free than kill him/her.

DUMBOLOGY

Q: What is in your left pocket?
* Right now? My other phone with my locker key and Mapua lace.

Q: Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie?
* I haven't watched it. Did it ever exist?

Q: Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house?
* Hard-wood? Yeah. Why ask?

Q: Do you sit or stand in the shower?
* Stand, Hehehe!

Q: How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
* I only have three. I'm not a fan. :-)

Q: Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
* HEY! Kahapon ata. Nagshoplift ako sa Louis Vuitton. Haha! Kidding lang. Wala ah. :-)

Q: What do you want to be when you grow up?
* CPA/CEO/Businessman/IT Expert. Ohh. Marry me na. We'll both have a good future! Lol!

Q: Who is number 1 on your top 8?
* God and FAMILY. They come first. :-)

LASTOLOGY

Q: Friend you talked to?
* Over the cellphone? Mina.

Q: Last person who called you?
* Tae ang name nya e. STALKER. Tsk.

Q: Person you hugged?
* Dami na. Want to experience? HAHAHA. Come here! lol!

FAVORITOLOGY

Q: Number?
* 26

Q: Season?
* Winter, ROMANTIC.

CURRENTOLOGY

Q: Missing someone?
* Wala naman masyado, hehe. Yoko paobvious e.

Q: Mood?
* A bit depressed. but with CONTENTMENT naman. :-)

Q: Listening to?
* Cold Water by Damien Rice

Q: Watching?
* Myself through the mirror. Aba! Artista ah. HAHA!

Q: Worrying about?
* Day 5 in the training.

RANDOMOLOGY

Q: First place you went this morning?
* Bathroom. HEHE. :-)

Q: What can you not wait to do?
* Play the newly purchased PIANO! I can't wait for my BABY ETERNA ( piano ) to arrive. WEDNESDAY please come!

Q: What’s the last movie you saw?
* The Simpsons. It was f***ing hilarious!

Q: Do you smile often?
* They say I look mad in school. :-) BUT as a fact for the people who do not know me, I SMILE A LOT! :-)

Q: Are you a friendly person?
* ASK MY FRRIIIIIEEEEEEEEENNNNNDDDDDDDSSSSSS

Homework in CS12 - How does technology affect your daily life?

CRUZANA JR, WILLIAM O. CS12 / AY02 JULY 25, 2007

C.N.3

Every one of us deals with the use of technology on our daily lives. Human today can see technology everywhere. We wake with the use of an alarm clock, cook breakfast on a gas-powered or electric stove, and go to school by car, bus, or any kind of transportation. We work on computers in lighted classrooms, complete our homework and copy lectures using pen and paper, and perhaps, watch television or listen to music before heading to bed. As we can assume, people who are used to living in the contemporary time could not live a day without the use of it. As an addition to that, we collide with technology from our morning activities up to the last minute of the day.

As for me, technology has been greatly affecting my daily life. It gives comfort and ease in every work that has been needed to be done. In my morning activities, I wake in the morning using the alarm clock to avoid being late. In cooking, my mother uses gas-powered or electric stove to ready the foods for breakfast. Truthful to say, without it, food preparation could eat a lot of effort and time. To make things a little bit ingenious, in going to school, we opt to take a walk or go to school by automobiles. Advantageous isn’t it? As an example, imagine yourself taking a walk from your house in Mandaluyong to Mapua Makati. It would definitely discharge your energy, lessen your performance in school, and require you to leave the house hours before your first class.

The use of technology does not end in the morning, as what I have said, technology works 24/7. In any time of the day, when we want to go some far places, we take a ride instead of walking. Again, this can help us avoid getting tired and let us be readied for the next activities. In terms of communication, telephones and cellphones eliminate the hurdles in communicating with other people. Text, call, or even video call, are really convenient to do. E-mail, on the other hand, offers us easy mailing even the receiver or sender lives in a very far place. These technology-based activities prove that technology does give advantages than harm.

Over the years, technologies have been made-up to speak to society's tribulations or to accomplish its rising desire for speed and convenience. In schools, technology is still present albeit students think such things are just normally placed and used. We are widely familiar with the use of PowerPoint that makes our reporting easier and more entertaining. Not only that, but also the MS Word, which is also a program in the computer, makes our typing and research easier. So to be speaking, the computer is a great example of the use of technology. Computerized-cashiers, the Cardinal Plus and computers in the laboratory are just three of the tremendous machines made through technology in the Mapua campus.

In some instances, though new technologies might appear drastically different from the ones they're anticipated to replace, more frequently than not, the previous technology remains present in the new. Light bulb, as an example, replaces the use of candles. Fair enough, light bulbs do not start fire and do not need to be lighted by a match as well. But take note, light bulb, like a candle, is a source of light.

I believe that everyone would agree if I would tell that technology has been the most helpful thing in the world. Yes, technology is a great thing and it has been helping me a lot. But one should not forget that everything in this world has its opposite side. I stated all the advantages of it without forgetting how it could be a little devastating and disadvantageous. Abuse and misuse of it can lead to such. Let us say too much reliance to technology can give us problems as an example. Sad to say, though technology makes our works easier, our voluntary thoughts of exercising to be physically well has been ripped from us. I, being a man who thinks, choose to balance the work through the use of technology and physical work.

Independency

4 days left and my parents will come home. . .

I miss them already.

I'd rather be DEAD if I'll live without them.

Mission and Vision - Journal No. 1 for MATH 10-1

CN 103 MATH 10-1 AYO2 JOURNAL NO. 1

CRUZANA JR, WILLIAM O.

MY MISSION:

My mission as an accountant is to offer world class and reasonable services. Being a skilled accountant, I aspire to provide my customers with an excellent accounting, business, and tax services. In addition, I aim to support businesses and individuals create important monetary decisions and put into practice financial plans with a primary goal of customer satisfaction.

MY VISION:

• To be a well-known accountant because of hard work and dedication to the job.
• To be considered as one of the leading accountants in and out of the country.
• To be an accountant who is ready to meet challenges of being in the profession.
• To provide solutions in every problem that my clients have in line with my profession.
• To take every work excellently and with dignity instead of working just for the sake of receiving high payments.
• To impart my expertise by working to the fullest.

Last Words

I f**king don't CARE!

**Live life as you want it to be.

**I can't fight every battle with you anymore.

**Don't talk. Just let me GO.

Not Anymore

Loneliness can be altered after all. I have come to realize that I would not be isolated if I did not choose to be one. Shocking to know, I felt stagy when I drooped down to the thoughts that I've been hurting myself through that. They say I am friendly. . . but why do I not trust any of them?

Whenever I have problems, my friends are always there for me. . . And I appreciate them for that. Right now, I can feel the guilt of having experience of being one of my friends' outlets when they have problems. I, though not sharing my personal problems, have been told about kept problems of my peers.

I was once regarded by not just one, but many individuals, as a good giver of advice. Yes, I could give solutions to other people's problems. . . but the fact behind that. . . I could not give any solution to my own problems. I tainted every big problem that I cannot solve. I wish next time, in times of dilemmas, I'd keep myself tough.

As I said, I've gone too far. I'll never be shallow. . . not anymore. . .

Comfort Zone

Whenever I get myself a little bit depressed, finding someone who can be my outlet gives me MORE depression. In times I find myself unlucky for finding nobody, I'd just be locking myself inside the bedroom and play the piano. Piano, somehow, kills the pain. As what I said, music alone can mend my heart. . . Or it can be the person who had made me down. I'd have to admit that, sometimes, listening to sad songs gives more loneliness. The fact that every line suggests painful words that tear one's heart.

This past weeks, I've got such lonely days, though those hurt, those are mine. I thought I finally found the one. I guess I was really out of the path. I was vividly unconcious that I've had my heart fallen without thinking of the dignity-breaking experiences I just had since then. Now that my dark nights have continually fading away, I would opt to rest while finding the real me.

Honestly speaking, I don't know what's wrong with me. It is not easy for me to remove an arm and walk away. Every end for me seems like there's a new painful continuation. Considering these, it is hard for me to let go. All paths lead me straight to the triumphant person. Tell me, should I believe the chain messages that gave curse to me before? Like... "You'll be bad luck in love for 7 years..." GIVE ME A BREAK...

So I believe my mom well, I have to be STRONG. If I would be given a chance to change something that happened in the past, I would choose not to change anything. Those occurrences shall be my valuable reference to make me much stronger. I'm ready to face again one of the biggest challenges in my life... Starting all-over again. I've gone too far, this shall start now.

Make Me Whole ( Cheerless Version )

I think I did a good VERSION. Haw. Emo.

* Note: Lyrics were modified by me.

( Original Version by Amel Larrieux )

--------------------------------------

Darling I want you to listen

I stayed up all night

So I can get this thing right

And I don’t think there’s anything missing

‘Cause a person like you, made it easy to do

But now I’m sad and down, and ask you through this song.

‘Cause your love is not as sure as the heaven

Your smile could heal my saddened soul

I’d ask why are you gone changing

Knowing that my love will make you whole?

You’re the only other half that makes me whole

I asked the angels for an answer, yeah

They’ve told you about me, said he’s who you need

So I find myself doubtful and troubled

For you’ve always gone mad

I want to shout that shunning name

If there’s one thing that’s true,

It’s that I am hurt for loving you.

‘Cause your love is not as sure as the heaven

Your smile could heal my saddened soul

I’d ask why are you gone changing

Knowing that my love will make you whole?

You’re the only other half that makes me whole

You make me sad

Since we said yes, over again

And I honestly truly believe

That you and me will cling and hold on

I’ll cry and bleed for you

Please, don’t make me blue

‘Cause your love is not as sure as the heaven

Your smile can heal my saddened soul

I’d ask why are you gone changing

Knowing that my love will make you whole?

You’re the only other half that makes me whole

Tamang Trip sa iPod ♪ ♪

I got the idea from my sister, Danica. La lang. I think it is fun! I'll try it also.
Good luck sa mga lalabas. I hope that this will work for me. :-) hahaha *grabs my i-Pod Video"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

first, how many songs are in your ipod?

>> 378. Yay! Talo ako ni ate. 394 sa kanya. hahaha!
put your player into shuffle. answereach question with the title of thesong that plays. hit next after everyquestion.

1. how was your day?

>>> Collide by Howie Day - collide means crash; bump; smash together. I watched Turistas with Francis, Rasa, and Sarah at Mega Mall Cinema this afternooon. To tell you honestly, I didn't like what I saw. Full of blood, violence and gore. Yeah, I can't get myself over it! Still, my mind is a total wreck. ;-P

2. how are you feeling today?

>>> Somewhere I Belong by Linkin Park

"I wanna heal I wanna feel What I thought was never real I want to let go of the pain I felt so long Erase all the pain till its gone I wanna heal I wanna feel Like Im close to something real I want to find something I've wanted all along Somewhere I belong"

- Oh my. Exactly! That's what I'm feeling today. I have this pain inside that cannot be erased. I think I'm lost. Candidly, I want to know where I really belong.

3. how's your life?

>>> In My Bed by Rain (Bi) - Factual! My summer vacation is really boring. I do always stay in bed. Sleeping, taking a nap, bumming around! I have nothing to do. Yeah!

4. heartbroken?

>>> Missing by Evanescence - Oh! Tamang tama to. Something is really missing inside my heart. I wasn't able to distinguish it before. But hey! I know the truth lately. You are missing. And, I miss you.

5. crushing?

>>> Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day - Alas! Sorry. I ruined the tiny string of connection between my crush and I. All my dreams for us have fallen apart. Love is currently out of my system.
This iPod trip is shocking. I think this is working.

6.inlove?
>>> One Day I'll Fly Away by Nicole Kidman - Senti nanaman. YEAH! One day I'll Fly Away. No LOVE, No LIFE. Since sa Moulin Rouge tong song na 'to, connect ko to na sabi ng partner ni Satine (Nicole Kidman)

"Love is like an oxygen. Love lifts us up where we belong. All we need is love!"
- Ewan McGregor (Christian, Moulin Rouge)

7. kamusta naman kayo ng crush/mahal mo?

>>> Incomplete by Backstreet Boys - Huh? Yun nga. wala ako crush or love nga yun. Yeah. Incomplete nga.

8. eh kamusta nman kayo ng minsan mong naging crush/minahal?
>>> Beauty and Madness by MYMP - Wala pong connect. Hehehe. Cheers!

9. pano ka masayahan?

>>> Para sa Akin by Sitti Navaro

Kung ika’y magiging akin

Di ka na muling luluha pa

Pangakong di ka lolokohin

Ng puso kong nagmamahal

Kung ako ay papalarin

Na ako’y iyong mahal na rin

Pangakong ikaw lang ang iibigin

Magpakailanman

[chorus]

Di kita pipilitin

Sundin mo pang iyong damdamin

Hayaan nalang tumibok ang puso mo

Para sa akin

Kung ako ay mamalasin

At mayron ka nang ibang mahal

Ngunit patuloy ang aking pagibig

Magpakailanman

[repeat chorus]

Kung ako ay papalarin

Na ako’y iyong mahal na rin

Pangakong ikaw lang ang iibigin

Magpakailanman

[repeat chorus 2x]

- Hahaha. yan. Tama ulit. Ganyan ako sasaya. Mapasaakin ka lang. Haha. Labo ko! Wala nga ako crush diba? Siguro sa future love nalang yan.

10. pano ka naman magalit?

>>> I Wanna Know by Joe - Yes. I really wanna know how to be mad. I can't make myself angry! Do I really have this kind heart? It's kinda irritating.

11. how does your crush feel towards you?

>>> Good Enough by Evanescence - Good Enough, ok naman siguro. :-) Approve!

12. how's your lovelife?

>>> Step Too Far by AIDA OBC - Yeah. Tama yan. I feel like Radames. I'm half ecstatic, half dejected.

13. anong song ang idededicate mo para sa crush mo?

>>> In the End by Linkin Park - Hahahaha! The song is so bitter. Kasi nga I don't have crushes right now. Kaya siguro ganun. I tried so hard but in the end, it doesn't really matter.

14. anong song naman ang idededicate niya para sayo?

>>> My Immortal by Evanescence - Aww. Am I dead? *touch myself* Hindi pa. hahaha. I'm breathing. For those who do not know, this song is for someone who went away. Tama naman. Kasi di ko na siya crush and I left so pwedeng ito na rin.

15. ano ang theme song ng buhay mo?

>>> Peep Show by Joe - Yucky! hahaha. Am I pervert? Shitty. hahaha. Lyrics kasi nyan ito: Taking you from the bed to the wall to the floor. S*xing you, S*xing me, Freaky Freaky. Hahahahaha! Conclusion ----- Partly correct. LOL!

16. song mo para sa minsan mong minahal?

>>> Karma by Alicia Keys - Oi anu to?! hahaha. Tama. Karma mo kasi di mo ko minahal! Ulol!

17. song nman niya para sayo?

>>> Spolarium by Imago (Original by Eraserheads) - What's the connection? Hmm. Siya lang pwede makasagot niyan. *Bow*

18. mahal mo pa ba siya hanggang ngayon?

>>> For All of my Life by MYMP - Ampf! Ayoko na. I don't want to do this anymore! Confession: Minahal ko siya pero mahal ko pa rin siya. Labo ko. Pang habang buhay na ba? Ampf! Ampf! Ampf! I don't want to feel the pain again. Once had happened. Let that once be the first and the final.

19. masaya ka ba?

>>> So Yesterday by Hilary Duff - Wow. So Yesterday. Yeah. Kahapon masaya ako . And that yesterday is a long long long long long time ago.

20. your fave song?

>>> Confessions Part II by Usher - Di ko to masyadong pinapansin, But, I can review this song. Siguro nga. I do have a lot of confessions to make and to share. I made a lot of transgressions already. Think WILLIAM think.

"We are very squared peg and round hole."

"We are very squared peg and round hole."

I have come to this idea that I should practice my writing ability again. You heard that right. I'll be blogging again. I should note that multiply is not only for pictures but also for a long lost hobby and most loyal friend, Ms. Writing. Yes. Ms. Writing is my best friend. I have been telling her all my sentiments ever since that I knew my expertise in English. Message for Ms. Writing: I'm so sorry if I have dumped you for a lot of times now. *BIG EYES*

CRAP! Enough for this childish act. Ms. Writing is not REAL! Ok. Arte ko. Let me rewrite that; MS. WRITING to writing alone. Yeah! I'm not a KID anymore. ABSOLUTELY. I ought to remember that I am about to unfold a new chapter of my life. I am a YOUNG ADULT. YOUNG ADULT. yeah, YOUNG ADULT, so to speak.

Do you see the sentence written in bold and big font above? You do, of course. And you should! Things have been so horrible lately and to be freaking honest, those words have never been away inside my cranium. Love should be out of my system for now. TOTALLY! it sucks. It is unfortunate for me that the person I loved and I are not really compatible.

It is really oblivious, isn't it? Obviously, you can't insert a hook with a shape of square into a circular hole. That is a total loss. Like in love, you can't force a relationship that cannot be made and is not written in the stars. Everything would be a big crap and an insignificant matter. You heard me right again. I will never be with that person. Fate has brought us together. As what everything could be so peculiar, has taken us apart. Haphazardly, no future can be made between the two of us. ** You might be reading this, I just wish, and kind of confused about what hell has gotten on me so far. Well, the story is frantic, and being complimented by tragic heartbreak. Sigh! I have never gotten the sweetest bliss. Bliss that might fill my shallow contentment.

Am I a child of the wildnerness? Born into emptiness? If I am, then I should learn to be lonely. I must just follow the discouraging song and the dilemma is over. Tsk. But give me a break! I know that I'm not! And I will never be! What I learned is that something is just missing; and love and acceptance are the words. Don't get me wrong! I am not desperate still. I have just come into this confusion that has never flown away. This can lead to a hopeless case unless someone will show love to me. I have no idea if someone is really there or has flown away too. Don't ask me. I really have no idea. I beg you! Are you there? Hear my knock! Please! Don't let me wait in vain.

can also be seen in my Multiply - http://jzeckseoul.multiply.com

My Multiply

http://jzeckseoul.multiply.com <- VISIT THE CON GUY HERE!

I'm not using this blog anymore. I'm sure that Multiply has the service that I've been looking for! :-) Take care! And have a nice day!

<chikwet>: may linigawan ka pero binasted ka daw?
<chikwet>: niligawan mo daw yung girl noong grade 5 ka, yung girl naman is grade 4. is this true?

<chikwet>: naku naman, graveh,

<chikwet>: plz, wag ka ng mag bakit ha?

<chikwet>: prangkahan na 'to

<chikwet>: name lang ng girl kailangan ko

<chikwet>: wag mo na itanong kung sinu ako. di ko rin naman sasabihin.

<chikwet>: basta kahit first name lang

<chikwet>: gusto ko lang malaman yung truth about that

<chikwet>: grrrr, graveh na ito!

----------------------------------

I don't need to ask who you are. I know you now. Chatterbox is wise. All your IP Addresses are listed in the history and it is easy to compare who has the same. Don't worry! This accusation is not true. Nonetheless, this might sprout. I don't want to be mean, so stop asking senseless questions like this.

I'm a Survivor Baby!

"A chalazion is a lump in the eyelid that is caused by inflammation of a gland within the skin. Typically, this lump grows over days to weeks and is occasionally red, warm, or painful. The gland involved in the formation of a chalazion is a modified sweat gland that lies within the eyelid. This gland produces oil. When this gland becomes blocked, it can rupture and the inflammation process begins."

adapted from www.http://www.emedicinehealth.com

--------------------------------------------

WARNING: This is Icky. . . This whole POST is somewhat yucky to some. . .

* *I suffered 3 weeks and 5 days with CHALAZION. Eyeglasses served as my hero for that approximately one month. I wore it everywhere. The worst was when I lost my confidence. Yes, having a conversation with someone bothered me for so much. I don't want to be asked questions about what was that lump that seemingly appeared on my lower eyelid.

* *Fortunately, last Saturday, February 24, 2007, I went to an Opthalmologist to go under an operation at Clinica Manila. I spent 4150 pesos all in all; 3500 for the operation plus check-up; and for the eye-drops and eye-ointment, cost 300 and 350 respectively. At least, the operation was a success.

* *Now, my normal eye came back. :-) I don't want that to happen again. I lose my value when I have that. The confidence that I have within me is my power. I'm really weak when I don't have it. Of course.

I'm counting my days in High School. . . I will graduate soon. After the waters of March, I'll see eventually the changes that my grandmother has been telling me since then. Seriously, I don't demand for fast days. It is poignant to think that I will soon leave the school that have been my home for 10 years and the contemplation of reluctantly walking away from the people whom I learned how I am really defined and how much a big thing deserves me.

MARCH is here! Literally, I'll march slowly until I reach the stage, I'll get my diploma and shake the hands of the officials who have influenced me so much. Moreover, I'll see myself and my classmates in white toga. I will then see the students who have received the honors. Am I disqualified? or will I have that shiny steel around my neck too?

As an addition to my contemplation, I assume that I really got the attitude of a real Rizalian. The values, that our mentors have been teaching us, reflect me so. The values of a Rizalian, being responsible, courteous, and has integrity, run constantly into my veins.

It was done, BUT it will be tattooed on my mind.

Let us admit it! At the very beginning, we are excited to finish the thing that we are doing. But at its end, we would miss and wish to bring it back again. Ironic isn't it? Now I'm getting messages from my co-casts and production members that they will miss the play. The same as I do, but I don't want to be sad. I don't want to think that I have 1 month left to continue doing what is right or change the things that I've done wrong.

Being late, laugh and food trips with my co-casts, the terror sound of every shout of our director, staying late at school for rehearsals, company call, call time, duck walk. These are just some of the stuffs that I would miss. I'll surely miss you, Aida! ( The play itself! ;-P ).

Connecting. . .

Access Granted!

Congratulations! Friendship Status: Accepted.

Very few have successfully stepped into my life. They exerted efforts to please me: (1) gave flowery words upon me, (2) offered gifts to me, (3) and took care of me.

I kept on accepting and accepting. I never realized that I'm letting bad userers to come and step into my life. Tsk! I wish I had a userer detector so that I'll be able to know who's fooling me and who's not!

So If you are trying to connect but you always get a failed message. Then, Sorry! You're not my real friend.

Connecting. . .

Connection Failed!&**&()_)I'm starting to find the real happiness within me. /Error/Error

Connecting. . .

Connection Failed! User too busy. Try again later.

New Year's Resolution (2007)

I just want to make this post straightforward. I just want to say my humble thoughts seriously. With the so called "I am" right now. I don't know wether what's inside me is merely sadness, or worst, depression already.

The story of my flopping carreer. . .

I was a Popular Sanguine. I was lively. . . Undeniably humorous, shows my bright teeth so often, and walks starkly. The real poise of a popular guy. Now, I can't understand this obsession. With the Personality Test I took this morning, I therefore and unexpectedly became a Perfect Melancholy. Meaning, I am now a perfectionist. I am supposed to have things right, a perfect loner, a reel sober.

I have been too unhappy or worst, depressed lately. Things that I used to do were changed steadfastly. So to speak, but I'm so tired of thinking. Problems, though it is not with my family, have taken over me for the past few months. My interest and my perception are changing. I'm starting to love hard rock right now like the songs of Linkin' Park, Korn, Metalingus. I think I'm alianated by them. Plus, being gothic seems fine to me now, though it scares me even before.

Bitchy, isn't it?! But despite the fact, you know what I want with myself now? I keep on holding my faith. With God, placed centered inside my heart, always here to be my torniquet.

-----------------------------------

Though it's already late to publish it here, I protected a list of my New Year's Resolution. Wanting all of these to happen, will surely make me happy and alive like a rain, all of the sudden, fell over a useless drought. . .

1. I hate beer. So I must still hate beer. Wine lang! he, he.!
2. Bring back my affection to those stupid love songs. :-D
3. Bring myself closer to God. Joining the youth ministries at CCF will surely void your thirst.
4. Forgive the worst motivator I've ever met. Si Baba. Lol! Bitter! but I mean it.
5. Accept what is already there. The word is "Appreciation."
6. Love Rock, but not praising them.
7. Be "Medyo Matipid". Ha,ha. I can't even remember what's the English term for that. Di kasi ako marunong niyan. LOL.
8. Have time for exercise.
9. Stop eating Lays and Pringles. Junk foods are bad. :-P
10. Eat fruits. All of those are good for our health!
11. Lessen my habit of eating of Ice Cream.
12. Stop my soon-to-be unconcious feet from that amiable mall strolling alone.
13. Grab my guitar then be a professional guitarist.
14. Wait for mom and dad's decision and not force them for having a next non-stop Out-of-Country. :-)
15. I want to have my own car. But, I have to convince myself that it must be green, not the dull black. And have it at the right time.
16. Stop eating chocolates for it might make my face greasy. Zits were gone! have to maintain it.
17. Starbucks's Coffee is tasty and aromatic. But I should lessen my uncontrollable drinking of it.
18. Stop saying the words. "You're a slut!", "You're a freaky hoax!", "Ok, it's fine with me. . .(Walk away slowly, then whisper, "That bitch!") Ha, ha!
19. Do what my derma is telling me. Bawal na matigas ulo.
20. Try not to have a fistfight. I should hold my temper.
21. Excel in studies. Though it is soon for me to graduate HS, I should do things better. Honors! Thank you. :-P
22. Bring back the old and happy me.